On the High Dive
At the swimming pool in my hometown of Marquette, there is a high dive. (I believe one of the tallest left in the state, so high dive isn't an exaggeration...) As a kid, I was terrified of the stupid thing...but because I didn't want to be known as a scaredy cat, I jumped anyway.
On Sunday during Sunday School, a classmate compared using the morning as a devotional time to pulling yourself back from the edge. And all I could think about was a picture of that Marquette high dive. (Here's where I'd love to show you a photo of my toes curling around the edge of a super high board with the water far below...but one, at 11 degrees it's WAY too cold for that; and two, I will NEVER climb that thing again...so use your imagination.)
Ever since having kids, I've struggled to have a devotional time with the Lord. I've excused my behavior...my body needs sleep, right? My kids need breakfast...now, right? I need a shower, the beds need made, laundry done, dishes loaded, food cooked...and I ALMOST convinced myself that God knew the place I was in, and it was OK for a season.
But there was always a nudge from the Holy Spirit, making my soul long for a time in the morning for me to focus on scripture and begin my day with prayer.
My fellow Sunday school classmate's response to my confession of losing a bit of control/temper with Jemma that very morning (due to her ripping out a pig tail because she only wanted ONE...not TWO. WAAAAAAAAA...and me storming out of the bathroom in a rage (aka adult temper tantrum)...not pretty), was the jolt I needed to be in the Word every morning.
It's been difficult. I wake up exhausted because I am still up several times in the night with Case and sometimes Jemma. I wake up grouchy and unwilling to start the day sometimes. In essence, I wake up already on that proverbial "edge." But as I cover myself in His word, in journaling and in prayer, I can feel myself being pulled back from the edge.
My toes release the edge of the board, and I am able to back up, slowly, safely, and then back down the ladder as I am drenched in something outside of myself and my conditions. Spending time with God every morning surely has pulled me back and given me room for error in a day, rather than starting my day already on the edge, ready to fall.
What's your experience with a daily quiet time?