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Weird day

After leaving church with more questions than answers yesterday, it set the tone for a weird day. A day where I never felt settled. A day spent agitated. A day spent stirred up. A day that continues this morning.

And I'm not sure where God is going to take this.

It started in Sunday school with a short video and then discussion questions. In short, it brought me back to the place I was after reading Crazy Love. Overwhelmed with the desire to do SOMETHING and yet, stuck on the what. 

A woman in my discussion group shared about a church she had read of. This church wanted to do something. So they called their county's SRS to see how many foster parents would be needed for the organization to be fully staffed. The county needed 150 homes. Turns out, 160 families from the church volunteered to be foster homes for suffering children. Amazing.

I thought, we have that need in our county. Our church could do something like that. Imagine how wonderful it would be to have even more children filling our church! And then, I was immediately discouraged. It would never work, I thought.

And this is why (and is another source of burden for me right now):

Nearly every Sunday, our sweet pastor brings sermon illustrations. Yesterday, he brought candy. Let's just say MANY people love those illustrations, as you can well-imagine! But, of course, there are some that don't. 

Yesterday, the point was: God's gift of salvation is free, just like the candy. But, you have to be willing to come get it. And then, later in the sermon, the pastor had those people who received candy the first time come back up to disperse candy to the remainder of the congregation. The point: We don't keep our gift of salvation hidden. We take it out to the world and share.

Great illustration!

But, when the people (mostly children) came out into the congregation to share their gift, some attenders turned it down. Multiple times. I'm sitting there, seeing the disappointment on the faces of these children, thinking, "How dare we make these children stumble. HOW DARE WE!" Even if you don't like chocolate, take a piece of candy. Help these children understand the point of the message!

And then, a thought came to mind. What personal conviction (that doesn't REALLY matter) am I putting in front of the message? Better yet, what personal conviction am I putting before GOD?

Wow. Tough stuff. Convicting stuff. Stuff I still don't have the answers for. Stuff I am still burdened with today.

So my prayer for God's people, including my church:
"Show us your ways, LORD, teach us your paths; guide us in your truth and teach us." Psalm 25:4-5


  1. I think the foster care idea is an amazing one. What a true gift that congregation provided. I don't think you should be discouraged, you should lead where your heart is taking you. Discouragement is just a step in the process of accomplishing something amazing.

  2. The 20s are an amazing time to discover what God would have us become. The thirties are a time to work on and almost finish that assignment. The forties are season that god prepares for a new assignment. But through the whole thing trusting God is the best way.

    Being a mom and a wife is a full time job. Not to many people see it that way anymore, but it is. Just because women say it not does not make it so. God loves you questions. Just like your kids ask you questions it is how they learn. It is how we learn. God sometimes put questions there himself. Just so we search out the in answers in Him and through Him.
    Trusting God to teach what you should do is so awesome. It took me awhile to get this. I was way into my 30s before i got it. Like the song says..trust and obey for there is not other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey!!! Learn to listen for the questions and search Him for the answers. You will not be disappointed, and when he calls you to your next assignment he will teach you and equip you for it. Especially if you are willing to walk up and accept the candy and turn right around and give it out. Love it!!!

    Philippians 4:4-9

  3. This is a constant feeling I had after finding out about Reece's Rainbow and the needs of these children..I kept describing to people this 'heaviness' and uneasiness I had in my heart...it would not go away. It kept coming up..like a thorn in my flesh. But at that time, I KNEW there was no way Jerad would be on board with adoption...but looking back now and with no hints of that heaviness on my heart anymore, I see that it was God..challenging me to trust and step out in faith. He would take care of the rest. So be very sensitive to this feeling, it could be the start of something VERY BIG...just as it was for us. Praying for ya, friend! :)


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